his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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