the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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