She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
