thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
