you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
