singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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