i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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