If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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