dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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