if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
