I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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