The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
