The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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