I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize