Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
