i may or may not be watching the land before time
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
