I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
