are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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