I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
