I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
