So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
