Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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