Pants 0. Shit 1.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
