you're like a bully in the Christmas story
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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