About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
