Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
