This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You dont lie about slip and slides
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
where are my eyebrows?
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