Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
