If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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