dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
stop calling my apartment porn island.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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