that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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