Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
