EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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