Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize