In the future we'll all be gay
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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