I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize