My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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