I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
