their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
