Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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