How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
