There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
