He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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