Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
