using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
