She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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