One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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