I'm eating all of the evidence.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
