mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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