My cat gives me a boner
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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