Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
