Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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