chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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