Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
