I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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