the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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