One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You brought string cheese to the strip club
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
