How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
