just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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