My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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