i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
