Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
