We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
