I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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