I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
